So then, how do we make relationships work and stay happy?<\/p>
We begin with the understanding of what pure love is, and then redefine and update the romantic fairytale into a healthier type of love.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t Relationships aren\u2019t about having another person complete you, but coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. By letting go of the romantic ideal of merging and becoming \u201cone,\u201d you learn as Rainer Maria Rilke says, to love the distances in relationship as much as the togetherness.<\/p>\n The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the idea of them. When you realize that more often than not you don\u2019t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.<\/p>\n The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.<\/p>\n In order to accept that love can\u2019t rescue you from being alone, learn to spend time being with yourself. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole.<\/p>\n Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you\u2019ll have a better sense of why you\u2019re fighting\u2014and likely will fight far less.<\/p>\n We generally grasp at romantic love because we\u2019re yearning for something that is out of reach, something in another person that we don\u2019t think we possess in ourselves. Unfortunately, when we finally get love, we discover that we didn\u2019t get what we were looking for.<\/p>\n True love only exists by loving yourself first. You can only get from another person what you\u2019re willing to give yourself.<\/p>\n After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The trick is to see that ordinariness can become the real \u201cjuice\u201d of intimacy. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.<\/p>\n One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you.<\/p>\n It\u2019s easier to recognize the good in your partner when you\u2019re connected to the good in yourself.<\/p>\n Genuine happiness is not about feeling good about ourselves because other people love us; it\u2019s more about how well we have loved ourselves and others. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply.<\/p>\n You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t Source: https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/10-ways-to-create-a-strong-intimate-relationships\/<\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The romantic love fantasy is really a substitute for intimacy\u2014real, connected, vulnerable intimacy. So then, how do we make relationships work and stay happy? We begin with the understanding of what pure love is, and then redefine and update the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":11309,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[35],"tags":[50,60,70],"yoast_head":"\nHere are 10 ways to create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship:<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
1. Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within.<\/b><\/h5>\n
2. See your partner for who he or she really is.<\/b><\/h5>\n
3. Be willing to learn from each other.<\/b><\/h5>\n
4. Get comfortable being alone.<\/b><\/h5>\n
5. Look closely at why a fight may begin.<\/b><\/h5>\n
6. Own who you are.<\/b><\/h5>\n
7. Embrace ordinariness.<\/b><\/h5>\n
8. Expand your heart.<\/b><\/h5>\n
9. Focus on giving love.<\/b><\/h5>\n
10. Let go of expectations.<\/b><\/h5>\n
Draw upon your own inner-resources to offer love, attention, and nurturance to yourself when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like.
These are only a few ways to explore real intimacy. How do you create a loving connection in your relationship? Tell us in the comments below.<\/h6>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t